(26 November 2022) Not satisfied with a simple projectile, something that merely digs a hole in and out of the body; need something greater, less primitive, that can deliver more dignified a death than the sad little hole through your chest. A madman sought to innovate; that he did.
The projectiles—they're stored in this case here—d'you not see it? A red metal box, grey hinges. They look like dust; like fine metal sand. Touch it but make sure to blow it off after to avoid eye irritation. Now observe my tipping this into this vat over here, which I would explain were it not for your, uh, the normal obliviousness of you all on these fine and niche topics. Some of the dust is going into the air—it's fine. Oh goddamn it.
OK. Now the dust is chemically pairing with this liquid of a 22-syllabled name. They have bonded, and now the result is that the dust is so sticky that it must be contained in magnetic levitation when in this inconvenient state. I now use a magnet to take the sticky dust and—using gloves, of course—put it into this magnetic levitator. The dust becomes very concentrated, like a ball, yet despite its stickiness it doesn't stick to itself. No, I will not explain why—this is a only science fair! Though, if you are an investor, feel free to ask later. The levitator holds the dust in place so that this fan over here can later blow its air and disperse dust over the target area.
Move the mannequin. Hurry up! I am a busy man! Now, crowd, we are not using a mannequin today. Our Subject will be coming up now—there he is. This is a voluntary process for our suicidal subject. I am a philanthropist! Why must anyone be forced into the undignified suicides of seppuku or hanging? Investors, there are other very, very good uses for this revolutionary product of mine; I promise.
Now stand there, you poor thing. Are you ready? Yes? OK. Well, you've already seen a priest. Crowd, watch: this is the most important part! You'll see why it's called the Subtractor.
He flipped the switch to activate a fan, which sent a powerful stream of air into the dust, which surfed atop the wave, scattered like a garden hose on the right setting, and hit the Subject, coating his front side in a thin layer of irremovable dust. The Subject flinched and looked uncertain. There was silence.
All I need to do now is activate the most powerful magnet known to man. Well, maybe not the most powerful, for legal reasons. I'll just have to move the rig that holds it closer to our wonderful Subject here. Currently it is deactivated by electricity, but I only have to flip this switch to activate it. Aaand it's on!
Like a million microscopic bullets, the magnetic dust was pushed by an enormous magnetic field through the Subject's body. With immense violence, the dust exposed, pierced, and ruptured every organ, perhaps also every little vein of the poor Subject's body, as well as bones and the spinal cord, with every particle cleanly coming through the body at the Subject's front and dispersing in air at the Subject's back. His body was unrecognisable—his eyes, fingerprints, nose—turned into a trypophobic hellscape. Blood spewed out and obscured every detail that somehow survived. The Subject was no longer human, but an irregular clump of organic matter. Behind him, along with the dust, spewed out a disturbing red gas of organic matter.
The crowd went home horrified. The investors rubbed their chins.